Completely Lost

It was January 9,2013, I turned 24 that day. Ever since then it’s been 6 months I have been searching for something, something I am not knowing even a bit.I have gone through introspection, thought process and so many chintan-manan sessions but failed every time.Yes, I am independent now, truly speaking just on financial base.In all these 6 months I have developed strange ways of passing time,Yes I am just trying to pass the time by anyhow not enjoying or living things. Reading books (yes it’s quite strange that habit of hating books even on one night before exam’s turned to reading randomly besides getting anything from them),surfing internet (mainly wasting on social networking sites), reading blogs of unknown persons and relating to them, trying to pen down own thoughts but disappointing self every time.

Yes, I know life changes every moment like weekend movies with friends is replaced by getting drunk alone….late night calls with girlfriend extincted by smoking weed on terrace walking through memories… waking up at 1pm on sunday and having lunch and breakfast at the same time is merely a imagination…formal conversations have taken place of friend’s argument in which you can hear more abuses than the actual topic.Now I have a better talktime but so less people to talk to.I miss those bike trips after bunking classes….teasing friends with their crush’s name….fighting over small misunderstanding…that angry young man look on father’s face after getting low marks…my mother asking everyday “khana nikal dun kya?”…. and so on many things that can not be written in one’s whole life. May be one day I will find the lost part of me again or may be I’ll accept life this way. After all change is the only surety about life but for now I am Completely Lost.